Fleur De La Lune: July 2006

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Familiarity breeds Contempt

Tomorrow is service, I was about to go to sleep. But suddenly felt a small gentle still voice in my heart that I should write something on this.

I once heard this phrase from Brother Victor, and I totally agree with him. In fact, this is something I always meditate in my heart because since young, my mother has already instilled this value in us.

Being too familiar with someone to the extent of taking that person for granted? Long experience of someone or something can make one so aware of the faults as to be scornful.

Such as borrowing some personal things from a friend on a regular basis especially expensive stuff……or a regular car ride home even when it is out of the way…..or not showing appreciation for the little things that a friend has done…..or not returning borrowed money timely........ or overstaying at a friend’s house…….always late in an appointment…....teasing words instead of encouragement….....

Sometimes, it's the little things that add up, and accumulate so much that it results in scornful feelings. If such are evident in a good Christian’s lifestyle, will this stumble new believers?

Humans are not perfect. I pray that we will all see the speck in our own eyes before we take note of others’ speck.. I pray that God will give us wisdom, especially in the little things that we handle every moment of our lives.

Thank God for His grace.

Labels: Sermons and Revelatns

Reflections

Was having a very nice chat with Selina (S.H.E) this late afternoon at Pastor Lillian’s house when we talked about Life isn’t a bed of roses……

Yes… I totally agree with that…. Because Life isn’t a bed of roses, we need God even more. There are many things in this world that are beyond our control. Sometimes certain things happen so unexpectedly that we are caught off guard. Sometimes, we find it hard to manage our expectation. Sometimes, we don’t have peace. Sometimes, we wonder what life is.

To me, life is very fragile. Once we walk the wrong path in the first place, we may never find back the same right path again. Or we may need a lot of time and energy to get back to where we should be going. Sometimes, we may not even have a second chance.

I want to live a life without regrets. If I did not have a stubborn mindset in the past, I might have lived a victorious life much earlier. But I know there is a purpose for everything in the kingdom of God.

In this life, there are so many things I wanted to do. Yet in the midst of pursuing, am I neglecting something else? Am I focusing on the right issue?

People always think that there is something religious about religion. Yet I know deep in my heart that GOD TRULY EXISTS. If I can tell you my story about God’s miracles in my life, I will need more than a day.

I love my God. He is your God too.

I remembered how I nearly got into an accident when I was working as an accounting executive in a factory at Yew Tee. Was walking to the factory area to find some workers to clarify some work issues but did not see the long metal sharp steel right in front of me. All of a sudden, I felt a force pulling me aside. The next split second, I saw the sharp long metal steel just a few inches from me.

What is that force? That is God. He saved my life. Not once, but innumerable times.

Indeed the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few. I felt weak when I have understood the crop’s hearts. There are too many issues awaiting God’s confirmations and revelations. There are too many locks and closed doors. The steward can do the best he knows how. And God will do the rest.

Once my previous cell group leader Lester will always tell me that there are THREE things he will always pray in the morning.

He will glory God in his speech and actions
He will have many opportunities to bless the people around him
He will experience God’s presence everywhere he goes, and the anointing of God will be upon him

As for myself, I also want to pray for three things:

Let me be a blessing to the people around me, especially my family
Let words of encouragement and love proceed out of my mouth
Let me be a good listener

In Psalm 73,

Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by my right hand,
You will guide me with Your counsel,
And afterward receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Labels: Feelings and Thoughts

Sunday, July 23, 2006

East Coast - BIG FUN DAY

Today is one of many super happy days! I have an outing with E151 members at East Coast today. Initially didn’t plan to go because I wanted to go for bible study. But I really felt Holy Spirit speaking strongly in my heart that I should join this outing today.

Indeed we must always avail ourselves whenever we’re given an opportunity. God has placed us in a certain place at a certain time. There is a time and season for everything. Sometimes you never know that your presence will bless someone else, can make a great difference in the lives of the people you are with. If you’re absent at that very moment, you may very well miss an opportunity to stand in the gap.

When we first arrive at East coast, the rest were not here yet. So there’s only Carol, Nicole, Estee, Jonathan and Qiyou. We were waiting so long for the rest to come. But you know what’s the amazing part? Even as we are waiting, conversation started flowing out from our mouths naturally. Nicole, Estee and myself were chatting NON-STOP…. and every conversation was so humerous, witty and interesting. Not only that, it seems like we’re able to talk about a lot of things and it all happened so naturally. We do not need to purpose think of a topic to talk about. It seems like Nicole and myself can be hosts for variety shows cos we are arguing non-stop. All of a sudden, I become very quick in my thinking to be able to “counter-attack” her! It was so fun! Ya…. Fellowship should be like that…. So natural, fun and enjoyable. Fellowship is from the heart.

Since I did not plan for this outing, I was dressed in my white pants and high heels due to church service in the morning. At East Coast, some of us rent bicycles and the rest go roller blading. I was very uncomfortable in my white pants and heels because I was worried I may dirtied my sparkling white pants. So I folded up my pants and thoroughly clean up the bicycle’s seat! Keep wiping the seat with paper and make sure there’s no more dirt or sand on it anymore before I ride on it. Hahhahahha…..

We proceeded to cycle with Xiangcen, Steve, Nicole, Estee and myself. Five of us went cycling from the middle of East Coast to the very end. It was very uncomfortable at first because its been a long time since I last went cycling. But I got the hang of it after a while and started enjoying the ride.

During cycling, Nicole, Estee and myself were cycling quite closely together. We ended up trying to sing songs. But there did not seem to be a song that we all know how to sing. So Nicole began to lead us into singing Tanya’s “Beautiful Love”. I think we repeat this whole song throughout the whole cycling journey.

After cycling, we sat down at a nearby bench and started chatting about so many things. Its really a heart-to-heart talk, very open sharing. I felt so encouraged by them and so bless to hear them share about their lives.

Since we hit off so well, we decided to call ourselves S-H-E.

Nicole = Selina
Xiaowei = Hebe
Estee = Ella

Then we came up with a very funny action to introduce ourselves! Waa… its so funny!

When Qiyou and Jonathan came back from their roller blading, I was asking them why are they back so fast. I was so amazed at what Qiyou shared.

Qiyou said that as he was trying to catch up with the rest, he realized that Jonathan was not able to catch up as Jonathan was very far back behind. He decided to go back and find Jonathan.

When I heard this, I felt so touched by his thoughtfulness. He is a new friend, yet he remembered to care.

Calista was enjoying herself. She’s so good at roller blading.

Xiangcen is a super sports woman. After cycling for more than one hour, she went jogging!!

Today at East Coast is a very fruitful day.

Miss Wanli's presence

I thank God for this opportunity that all of us can come together.

Labels: Friends

Sunday, July 16, 2006

This is Life! ~~ My Taiwan Trip

Labels: Family

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Persevere! God is with us!

Jeremiah 32:17 (New International Version)
"Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.

As I am writing down this blog, the TV set is on. With the interesting variety show on air, it’s a bit hard for me to concentrate on writing my blog, especially when I want to write something about my God.

Thus I went to sis kless’ blog. There is a very nice melancholy music in her blog. Whenever I need to pen down my thoughts, or write poems, I will need to listen to melancholic music. There was once when I was listening to Kevin Kern’s “Love First Smile” while writing a poem. All of a sudden the music ended, my thoughts were disrupted and could not continue with the poem until the music starts again. Haha…

These few days have been victories after victories for me in my workplace. After I have written my previous entry, I felt so much empowered as I reminded myself of God’s goodness in my life. With God in my life, I can be bold and courageous. I can be confident and excel in everything that I do.

I want to thank for His strength and comfort. Recently I was in a meeting with higher management people from another company, all of a sudden my boss has to meet our CFO and he asked me to chair the meeting. I remembered facing a very “inquisitive and firm” director and was very worried that she will ask me lots of questions. Yet everything went on smoothly and I was able to convey my points in a concise manner. The following week I have a tel. conference with my colleagues in India. But I think I was very nervous and did not speak well. This incident did not stumble me. I tell myself to work harder at presentation and be confident at it. Today I was invited to a training seminar to give a 15 to 20 mins talk. At first my mind went black out, nearly could not continue with what I was supposed to say because I was too nervous. But I resist this fear, but cling on the Word of God. I could almost feel that I was fighting the “fear” devil in my heart! This talk ended well eventually, with me stepping out in faith and speaking out loud with confidence.

These few days are hectic. But I have been reflecting on lots of things. No matter how many times we have failed, we must never give up. Even when we feel as if we are a failure, even when all things seem hopeless, even when it seems like nothing is ever possible anymore, remember this – With God, All things are Possible.

Remember that God has come to give us a Hope and a Future (Jeremiah). He is a good Father who cares for us, who will never give us bad things. Like an earthly father who will protect and take care of his earthly son, so is our Heavenly Father. It is important that we must be strong and be strengthened in God, knowing that God is always stealing a glance at his children, always ready to extend His loving hands to us whenever we fall. We must never let negative thoughts, or consequences of failure dwell in our mind. We must never be afraid to fail. We must have the spirit of Abraham Lincoln.

This recent article from Crosswalk further confirmed my reflection. Looking at Abraham Lincoln, how could we ever fail more than he did? Yet in all these, he emerged more victoriously than ever before.

Hang on to Hope

This devotional was written by Jim Burns

Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.— Hebrews 12:1-2

Do you ever feel like a failure? Some people look at the life of Jesus and say that He failed. He was born in obscurity. For most of His life He was a lonely carpenter. For three years He traveled as an itinerant preacher, and for those three years of effort He really didn't have many disciples and no substantial following to speak of. He died in shame with two common prisoners alongside Him. If the story stopped here, all would consider Him a failure. But the story continues, because three days later He rose from the dead, ascending into heaven and now sitting at the right hand of our Father!

If you feel like a failure, you're in good company. Abraham Lincoln had more failures than victories, yet some would call him the greatest president the United States has ever had. Look at his life for a moment. He grew up on an isolated farm with only one year of formal education. In his early years he was exposed to barely half-a-dozen books. In 1832 he lost his job and was defeated in the race for the Illinois legislature. In 1833 he failed in business. In 1834 he was elected to the state legislature, but in 1835 his sweetheart died, and in 1836 he had a nervous breakdown. In 1838 he was defeated for Speaker of the House, and in 1843 he was defeated for nomination for Congress. In 1846 he was elected to Congress but in 1848 lost the re-nomination. In 1849 he was rejected for a federal land officer appointment, and in 1854 he was defeated for the Senate. In 1856 he was defeated for the nomination of Vice President, and in 1858 was again defeated for the Senate. *

Was Lincoln a failure? Absolutely not!
He became one of the greatest Presidents in the history of the United States.

There is one word that comes to mind when I think of failure: perseverance. To persevere means to hang on, to stick with it, to press forward! The call of the Christian is to keep on looking to Jesus and moving in His direction. You can rest assured that the Bible is right when it says, "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6).

So hang on - there is light at the end of the tunnel, and the light is the love of Christ .

Labels: Sermons and Revelatns

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Little Pebbles - Work

Right now its 8.55pm at Xuan's study place SIM university, waiting for her to finish school. I’ve just finished my fish burger and French fries! And now sipping my nice hot tea from Macdonalds!

As I was eating, was reading through some people’s blogs – sis Kless, Yanlin, Xiangcen, Xuan, Gary, Bro. Isaiah, Calista. Its such a great enjoyment to have all the time to yourself and reading blogs while sipping a nice cup of warm tea. All of a sudden, the world stops spinning.

Today is Tuesday. Going to be weekend soon. Yesterday was Monday. It was a terribly blue Monday. Dunno what has happened to me. Every day in work is like carrying a big and heavy stone until I cannot breathe. I felt tremendous pressure and stress upon me. Its not that I have too many things to do, I think I can still handle with a couple of overtime sessions. However, it's the level of responsibility that is getting me suffocated. Talking about being a woman of God in the marketplace, I wonder how people do it if they don’t have God by their side.

These few weeks I have not been having lunches with colleagues. I will always buy back lunch and hide in my desk and read blogs (especially sis Kless) as I am eating my lunch. I seldom fellowship with colleagues and just concentrate on finishing my work. I can be having an expressionless countenance one moment, and another moment a big wide grin because my brother (aka pinkie dog) sms me he’s coming to fetch me to go dinner at some shopping centre!

I asked myself, what has happened? Why I seem to be in depression mode when it comes to work? Aren’t I supposed to be the light and salt in my marketplace? Aren’t I supposed to glorify God in my demeanor? Aren’t I supposed to be faithful in the little things and excel in my work?

I finally understood one big factor that’s contributing to this feeling that I’ve.

To me, everyday at the marketplace is like going to work in a battlefield - gotta put on my soldier armor and fight like crazy. I meet all sorts of people, especially domineering and sometimes rude colleagues. Sometimes I have to speak to people of much higher authority. To add to this stress, there are problems to overcome everyday, though not a lot, but enough to make my head swell.

If I am not prepared in my attitude, I will always be in a laid back and pessimistic mode - won’t feel like getting up to fight, won’t be mentally and physically prepared to face any challenges. Thus when a challenge comes, I will be like an ostrich and hide in my self-dug hole.

In this way, I will always be fearful of what is to come, I will never enjoy my work to the fullest. I will be like Job in the bible – “what I have feared has came upon me…..” I will never be ready, I will never be happy.

When I am not ready to fight, I will be easily intimidated by people and problems – may it be big or small. I will start to lose my self-confidence and who I am in God – a princess! I will start to lose interest and faithfulness in my work. I will stumble in every work that I do.

Pastor Kong once preached about “Problem solver will have glory”. He elaborated on problem solver people getting promotion and financial rewards in their work place. He also talked about problem solver people add value and glory in their lives.

I personally feel that these people are always prepared to solve any problems. In fact, they are always looking for opportunities to solve problems. And when an opportunity comes, they will feel so excited about it. They will be strong, calm and ready to face any problem. No matter how difficult a problem may seem to be, they will take things one step and a time, and exercise wisdom in approaching it.

If you look at those big bosses in the corporate world, they are great problem solvers. Some are not even Christians. What about us?

We have God. Our heavenly Father promises in the bible that He will help us. He will give us wisdom and strength. He will be with us when we need Him. He will help us fight the battle for us. He will repay our enemies. He will love us for who we are. He will provide for us. He will protect us. He will help us prosper and succeed.

WOW…..

Throughout the period here in my work place, so many challenges and difficult problems have occurred. Whenever I was given an opportunity to handle the issues, I took it with a heart of courage and faith and I always excel in resolving problems. Over time, due to tiredness and stress, I became "burned out".

But as I start to remind myself once again that I am a GREAT problem solver, I felt empowered again. I become more confident and eager to face the difficult issues and people at work. Work becomes more pleasant and enjoyable.

I am writing all these down so that I can look at what I’ve written and encourage myself in office next time I feel blue again. Hahaha…..

Labels: Marketplace Salt and Light

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Little Notes

Mummy is sick, just finished ironing the clothes for her. Now resting on my sofa, placing my laptop on the new coffee table we’ve just bought from Ikea, with a little cup of Lipton white tea, and Kevin Kern’s Summer Day dream music………….

Ever since I came back from Taiwan, have been experiencing a different kind of feeling altogether. Felt a bit lost and confused. Really need to reorganize my thoughts. Things were fun in Taiwan, many places to walk around, very nice food to eat and interesting people to look at. Life was different and places are nice. Seeing my friend walking down the aisle is a weird feeling. By right, I should be very happy when my dearest friend is getting married. By left, I was feeling very strange. She seemed so mature and distant suddenly.

Just like the song we always sing – “When the music fades, all is stripped away….” To me, Taiwan trip is like a great performance held in a grand ancient theatre, when it all ended, people left, music faded, everything’s in silence. We came back to Singapore on a Monday midnight, got to work the next day. That was the most SUPER BLUE and TIRED Tuesday in my life. But there is a season for everything – its time for me to work hard again, and I must do it.

Many things happened in Taiwan, made me appreciate my family even more, that we should not take each other for granted. Sometimes when there are exciting things around, we tend to lose our focus, and that’s when we can see traces of impatience and harsh tones. For a period in Taiwan, I thought I lost God while trying to capture all that we can get in Taiwan for just mere 4 days. This is a very insecure feeling, do not know where you are heading most of the time, and spent most of the time feeling guilty about it. Yet God is good, we always seem to be at the right place at the right time, and things always turn out very good for us.

Mummy bought some nice T shirts, brother met up with a friend in Taiwan, Xuan got her beautiful purple tube dress from Lyle & Scott, and I got my nice pinkish Japanese LuckNek bag. Throughout our journey, my brother was very patient with us and even helped us to choose some of our clothing. Thank God for pinkie dog (our brother).

Though there are many things to buy in Taiwan, things are not all cheap. We went to a Japanese Department Stall near Taipei Interchange Mrt. There are many nice things to buy, but very expensive – average pricing is at least TWD3,000/-. Throughout my years of shopping experience, I have understood one point. Don’t buy if you’re hesitant about it and if you are getting no response from the Holy Spirit, don’t buy! I bought a very pretty Japanese sundress at TWD3,320/- (which I am really convicted to buy). That’s all I have. No more left for other stuff.

People in Taiwan like to wake up early and read newspaper at a café such as Starbucks, or even Macdonalds. They are very fashionable and girls are expert in make up. On a street like Ximen Ding, you can easily find a few Jolin-lookalike girls, especially those at departmental makeup counter.

Yet there are quite a no. of beggars around too. Once I saw a beggar lying outside a convenience store, with his leg wrapped around with a very thick and dirty bandage, so thick that its about 30cm in diameter. Inside I could see rotten skin and full of blood.

My friend’s car got GPS and its very fun to see her adjusting the settings to find the right map for the place we are heading. She took me to the bridal shop as she needed to try out her gowns. There is a whole row of bridal shops and their bridal gowns are so beautiful. Not like that kind we will see in Singapore…. Taiwan bridal shop gowns seem more fitting for a royal princess. Anyway, we ladies are all God’s precious gems. Hahhaha….

Haha… got so many things to write about….just grabbed a Nutty Bar Chocolate from Royce….. felt a bit hungry…. Asked daddy where to eat later…. But he said dunno. My daddy is so cute…. kept coming to me and telling me that his stomach is so much slimmer nowadays and what he has done to slim down his stomach. To me, it looks just the same – BIG ROUND STOMACH.

Really want to thank God that I am living on this earth. Even the fact that I am walking on the path, I felt so blessed. There are so many things to be thankful for. We are walking too fast at times. Really need to slow down our pace, and recount our blessings.

I am so happy I am Xiaowei. I am so happy Xuan is my sister. I am so happy God is my Father. Life is without meaning if we do not understand what we have.

So happy to come back from Taiwan when I think about my home in Singapore, and church. In fact when I was on the plane departing for Singapore, home and church are the only 2 things which I seek comfort in.

Next year I want to go 2 places - New Zealand and Mission Trip. I have talked about bringing my mummy to New Zealand for so many times, but this never realize because its too expensive. I have just set up my budget sheet yesterday night. Looking at the excel worksheet, not only can I make it for New Zealand and Mission Trip, I still got some leftover for a 7 months sabbatical due to my studies and building fund if I start saving up diligently + if co. gives me bonus!

Okie….. gotta end my notes here….. want to take a short nap before we head for dinner ;o)